ублюдок
by dimkasgal4ever
Summary: It means 'Bastard' in Russian. Read to find out why!
1. I Look So Good Without You

Я буду любить тебя всегда Я буду любить тебя всегда

The words kept running through my head, over and over like a broken record. Haunting and sneering at me, those taunting words Dimitri left me with. I knew what those words meant.

_I shall always love you…_ I honestly could spit in his face and this very moment and yet at the same time I wanted to thank him. He showed me just how weak I had become when I thought I was in love with him. I whipped the unneeded tears from my face in disgusted. It's was like a beautiful forest after a fire, after the fire it was ugly and grey but then soon turned greener and bigger with time. I was a new person. At the moment I was covered with ash and grayness but would quickly leave the ash and grayness behind and move forward.

As much as I wanted that to be, I don't think it'd be that easy.

_**Four years later…**_

I quickly slipped from Eddie's grasp and lock my own on him, trying to sweep his feet. He dodged, I threw both my hands flat against his chest sending him backwards on the mat yet again.

"Point for Hathaway and still Zero for Castlie!"

"Bitch!" Eddie said to me.

"Your point?" I asked raising my eyebrows.

I laughed when he said nothing but just glared at me. I grabbed a towel whipping the sweat off my face and neck and retreated to the locker room. I showered and dressed into jeans and purple tank top and a to big shirt over it and tied in in the back then finishing the look with neon yellow and black puma tennis shoes. I brushed my hair, I had got it cut. My hair was not to my lower back but now just to the end of my shoulder blades, I also got front bangs. My body has changed over four years too. I still had all my curves but I was not just muscle, I don't have an ounce of fat on me. I pulled my hair into a high pony tail that stopped at the nape my neck now not my shoulder blades where it did before I had it cut. I don't miss all that hair. I really like my look now, I think I'll keep it. I grabbed my gym bag and walked out at the same time Eddie.

"Hey, what are you, Lissa and Christian doing for Christmas?" He asked

"I think their going to Tasha's this year sense they didn't go last year." I shrugged. Ever sense Dimitri took Tasha's offer they went to Tasha's every other year. They didn't want them coming here in fear of Dimitri life. I wanted to keep it like that too. I haven't heard anything about Dimitri in four years sense that he left me. I could live with that, I hate that poor, sorry bastard to my very core. I mean I don't hate Tasha it's not her fault that Dimitri took her offer, it's all his so I won't let me anger and hate get pointed at the wrong person. I had asked them to speak of me in front of Dimitri and Tasha and to tell them just how well I'm doing and how great I am. I wanted to rub in Dimitri's face that I can live without him and still enjoy life to fullest.

"Well, in that case do you want to come with Mia and I to Hawaii this Christmas?" he asked. Him and Mia were together and I think that their very serious. They are madly in love like how Lissa and Fire Balls(Christian) are and how Dimitri and I were. I can tell by how they hold hands and smile at each other and just stare at them and then notice that they're in public and how they blush when we tease them how head over heels they are over each other.

"Are you serious?" He nodded.

"Yes! Thank you!" he smiled.

"Thank Mia later, she came up with it. We just noticed how you never do anything for Christmas the times that Liss and Chris are gone and plus we have a few more friends coming along." I hugged him, he was momentarily shocked but then hugged me back. I can't wait now. Christmas when Liss and Fire balls weren't home seemed to always just drag on.

"When are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow so a day after and Liss and Chris." Okay awesome that means I'm going to have to tell Alberta so she could get someone to cover my rounds at night.

"And for how long?"

"Two weeks." Even better!

_Mele Kilikimaka, Hawaii! _

I went to Lissa's house that she and Chris had at the court.

"Hey! Guess what!" I side coming through the door. I knew that Lissa and Chris weren't getting it on because I couldn't feel any strong emotion through the bond.

"Um, Rose! Don't come into the living room!" she sounded panicked. I stopped short and stayed where I was. Lissa came rushing in and lead me outside on the side porch.

"Okay, promise me something?" she asked. I nodded slowly, I was trying to get into her head but she had me too closed off. I could feel her but that was it.

"Take a vow and repeat after me, 'I, Rose Hathaway shall not kill anyone besides who I, Vasilisa Dragomir gives permission too." I repeated and she nodded to herself and took a deep breath, calming herself and lead me in to her house. She pulled me into the living room. She was blocking my view. She stepped out of the way and I nearly jumped him. Him as in the Russian Bastard sitting my seat. Russian Bastard as in the damned Dimitri Belikov.

He did a double take of his own when he saw me. He stared at me and I let him. I pulled my Guardian mask in place. He stared but soon his stare focused on my face, no not just on my face but on the giant scar on my right cheek that started at my temple and ran door into my cheek in a perfect swirl. I was on a mission and Strigoi had got a hold of me and she had used a knife marking me forever. It was my first fight after Dimitri left me. I accepted the scars, it was apart of me. It just showed what I've been through in the last four years just as the rest of my scars did, they are a map of my life, each one having its own story and bravery put into it. His eyes traveled to my chest where another very large scar showed. I put me hand over my chest covering the scar from him.

"Hey, is there a sigh on my chest saying 'Read me'? If so please tell me." I snapped harshly. Christian choked on a laugh as he took a sip walking into the room with Tasha.

"Shut it, Fire Balls." He glared at me over the rim of his hot chocolate.

"Yes Ma'am, boss lady." he said all too sweetly, sarcasm drowning his words. I smiled sweetly back at him and walked over and pinched his cheek. I turned to quickly to see his face. I saw Tasha, I smiled and said

"Hi, Tasha! Long time no see!" I said smiling a real smile unlike the fake smile I gave Christian.

"Hey, Rose!" She stepped forward and wrapped me in a hug. I hugged her back, I could tell she was surprised. Like she was expecting me to be seriously pissed at her. I wasn't I refused to be. Like I said it wasn't her fault she doesn't know that Dimitri and I ever where together when she offered it is all Dimitri so that's the only person I'm going to blame.

"I thought Lissa and Christian were suppose to go to your place." I said.

"Yea, but I thought it'd be better to come over here sense we haven't been forever so I thought I'd surprise them. I did I guess." she said almost carefully. Lissa came in and looked over at Dimitri then at Tasha making sure the haven't been punched or kicked or anything like that.

"So, are you teaching any Moroi protection program classes I know your one of people to help give it the final push." She nodded taking a sip of the hot chocolate Lissa had made for everyone.

"Yea, it's so cool watching the kids learning something they thought they'd never learn. I'm so happy Queen Tatiana gave it a yes." she said smiling broadly. I sat down on the chair turning toward Tasha and away from Dimitri. I could feel his stare drilling into my back. I wanted to turn around and call him every name in the book but kept my cool-barely- and listened to Tasha talk about MPP(Moroi Protection Program). I nodded along with her and gave a few comments. I looked at the clock and set down my mug and stood up, straitening out my shirt and jeans.

"Oh, by the way Liss I'm going with Eddie and Mia and some there friends to Hawaii for Christmas. I'm sorry I didn't know Tasha was coming or I'd would have said no but I said I'd go already, is it okay if I still go?" I asked.

"You're a grown ass women, Rose don't have to ask me. You know that." Lissa said.

"And you're my charge. I'm making sure so if wanted me to stay." I said.

"No, this would be your first vacation, you need one. Go. " she said. I smiled and came over and hugged her. I turned and punched Fire balls in the arm and said

"I'll send you a post card."

"Bitch." was all he said. He wanted to go I could tell but with his Aunt here it prevented him from going.

"Yep, your truly!"

I went over and hugged Tasha bye.

"Well, I have to go pack. Two weeks in Hawaii for Christmas! Yay!" I cheered. "Bye y'all!" I said walking out ignoring Dimitri.

I made it to my room and let a tear of pure anger slide down my cheek.

_How dare Dimitri think he could just show up anytime he fucking pleases!_

I got out my suit case and looked for my summer clothes which I had packed away in boxes so it was out of my way in September so I could make space for my winter clothes. I packed three swim suits one Red the other black and purple and the last one purple and blue swirls all three bikinis. I packed a bunch of short shorts and tank tops with flip flops and three party dresses and one sun dress, three pairs of heels and two pairs of nice sandals. And along with some really nice bras and panties. Okay, I was set. I put in a corner of my room and changed into night clothes and flopped in my bed. Thank god I'm leaving tomorrow, I don't think I would have survived being by Dimitri any longer. And I was only by him what an hour and a half tops? Like I said, Thank god!

I turned off my light and let the sweet waters drag me under.

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><p><strong><em>FYI people each chapter will be named after a song that i thought fit this chapter if you'd like to give me a song you think would fit better please Message me and tell me I'd love to hear!<em>**


	2. What The Hell

I woke up and ran through in a shower very quickly and dressed in my ripped jeans and a cute tank top I'd only have to change my pants when we get to Hawaii. I slipped my flip-flops, grabbed my suit case and ran out to the air strip awaited by an annoyed looking Mia. Mia has let her hair go natural rather then curling it everyday and now looked like a Dhampir, with her tan and slim but stout body. She was still short of course.

"Hey, M." I said calling her by her nickname I gave her.

"'Bout time! Jeez your 10 minutes late for Christ's sake!"

"Gotta be fashionably late." I said winking, she gave a sigh. We got onto the plane and got ready for lift off. I popped sleeping pills in my mouth and fell asleep as the plane rose in the sky.

"Aloha, Rose! We're here!" Kaylee said shaking me. Kaylee was a fellow Guardian. Her long golden brown hair was swinging back and fourth with her shaking me. I stared into her brown eyes and sit up and get up and stretch. I didn't say anything but walked off a plane a saw a tall, lean guy with a dark tan and shaggy black hair and brown eyes so dark they almost look black and high cheek bones and full lips, I smiled and looked him up and down as he did me. I smiled wider and whispered.

"Aloha…"

I walked forward and didn't even look at him as I walked pasted. Mia turned around and smiled at said,

"Okay, first and foremost, this our guide for the vacation! His name is Kekoa. He'll teach us everything we need to know including surfing, site viewing, shopping…" I lost track of Mia's yakking and stared at him. Damn, he was a site to see himself.

"Okay," M said clapping her hands together. "Who's up for some surfing?"

We went to our Hotel rooms and got into swim suits and headed down stairs to the beach a 5 minute walk from the Hotel. There was about three guys including Kekoa and two really, super pretty Hawaiian girls in bikini's like my red one teaching the boys in our group the basics to surfing. Thank God, I didn't have to learn that again. Kekoa walked up to me and said,

"Do you know how to surf?"

"Yep!"

"Really, I'm kind of shocked. And what's your name?"

"Why? Because I'm hot and know how to surf and on top of that I live in North Dakota? And the names Rose." I said holding out my hand. He blushed under his dark tan when I said that and shook my hand in return. He handed me and board.

"Give it your best shot."

And apparently my best shot was better than his. I padded my way out on the waves and waited for a good wave to come along. When it did, I turned around and tried out beating the wave but as I thought it caught up to me and I stood up on the surf board and ducked under as the wave white capped and folded over me and made my way out of the tunnel of the wave and fell off my board. I run back up to shore dripping wet. I squeezed all the water I could a flipped over my shoulder and put and hand on my hip and said,

"Your turn."

"You did pretty good."

"I know, thanks."

He laughed, shook his head and ran into the water and awaited his turn for a good wave.

He did okay but near the end he fell off his surf board. He got up to shore and I smirked at him. He glared at me.

"You got lucky."

"And apparently you got unlucky." I returned sticking my tongue out at him. He returned the gesture. I threw my head back in laughter. I then noticed he was still dripping wet and way hotter than when he was dry. I tore me gaze away as I heard Mia screaming. She was holding her hands above her hand in glory. She had finally stood on the surf board.

"Go Mia!" I hollered at her. She smiled a big cheesy grin. She knew she wasn't gonna be able to hold on like I had and so she just fell off the board and ducked under the waves and made her way back to shore. I jogged up to her and high-five her. She was smiling so proudly. Eddie came up and pecked her on the lips.

"You did great."

"Not as great as Rose you totally creamed that wave, it looked so easy to her. Where did you learn to surf?"

"Remember on Christmas break when wasn't there in like our freshman year, well you were in eighth grade but Lissa's parents took them to a beach and I learned to surf there of course it was at night but still pretty fucking awesome."

"Where?""Miami."

"Oh!" she leaned toward me and whispered.

"Kekoa is totally head over heels for you." she giggled.

"Is not!"

"Is too!

"Not!

"Too!

"Not."

"Too!"

"Not!"

"Fine! Think what you wanna think but I've told you the truth and you really kicked his ass in surfing." I laughed at that and walked over to the bar and asked for a beer with lime. The bartender gave it to me and I took a long gulp of it. Kaylee skipped over to me in her cute yellow bikini.

"You got the hang of surfin' yet?"

"No, not really but I'm getting there." she sighed.

"We're gonna be here for two weeks. You'll be ready to surf the pike when two weeks comes around."

"Yeah, right!"

"True story!" I laughed. She grabbed the beer from me hands and took a swig.

"Nice choice, Hathaway. You better get back to Kekoa, make him wait any long and I think he'll die of impatiens." What the hell is with everyone think this dude is head over heels for me?

"Whatever.""Don't 'whatever' me."

"I just did."

"Well, don't do it again." she said playfully.

"Whatever." she playfully growled and turned around walked to her trainer, taking my beer with her. Bitch.

Kekoa walked yup to me, he ran a hand through his black hair and shifted back and forth on his feet looking very nervous all the sudden.

"Hey, Rose I was you know wondering if you wante-"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yeah,"

"Really?" he asked with wide eyes.

"Really." said giving him my signature smirk.

"When and where?" I asked.

"How about I meet you at you hotel room at 11am tomorrow and we'll go from there?"

"FYI, for future advice, I hate surprises but I'll make an acceptation."

He smiled a like a little boy had just snuck a cookie out of the cookie jar without anyone catching him grin, he winked and walked off, leaving me sitting on the bar stool staring after him.

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><p><strong><em>All goes to Richelle Mead besides the plot but the rest is hers sadly. I might not be able to get to the next chapter till later this week, gotta love ! Well, anyway what do you think? Remember the fomula;<em>**

**_REVIEWS=FASTER UPDATES!_**


	3. Since U been gone

I stepped out of the shower and walked to my suit case on the other side of the room dressed in nothing but a towel. I glanced at my door just as a note slipped from under it. No knock, just a note. I shrugged and reached down and picked it up. I flipped open the thick, cream colored paper and it read,

_Dress nicely._

I had a feeling that it was from Kekoa. Not that I questioned it. I turned and dropped the note on my bed. I pulled out my black lace underwear and strapless bra set and slipped into it. I then pulled out my bright red dancing dress. It was red(duh) and had a lace at the hem where it reached my knee, the dress was spaghetti strapped and didn't show to much cleavage, sweetheart neckline. The heels I paired with it was black and only out 3 inches, enough to be able to dance in. I slide the silk material over my deeply sun-kissed skin. My hair was still wet. I walked into the bathroom barefoot and flipped my long-ish length hair upside down and put foamy mouse in it. I whipped my hair back and took my wet or dry curling iron to it putting the right amount of curls into it and finishing it was some sprit spay. I then grabbed my Pairs Hilton _Siren_ perfume and dabbed sprayed some in my hair, behind the ear, neck, wrists and stomach. Then put a small sliver necklace on that was a string on white pearls and small pearl earrings. I heard a knock on the door. I walked and looked out the peep hole and saw Kekoa standing there. I ran to the other side of the room and grabbed my dancing heels and flung out the door, barefoot.

He stared at me. Just stared at me. I didn't bother with much makeup. Just eyeliner, eye shadow(not much either) blush and pink lip gloss. I looked him up and down. He looked good himself. Red button down long sleeve shirt was the sleeves pushed up. Black pants and dress shoes.

He smiled at me and said,

"Hope you know how to dance."

So, he was taking me to a dance club. But not just any dance club it was ballroom dancing. He told me he'd asked Eddie if I could ballroom dance. I could, could I ever. When Belikov left I had a lot of extra time so took some ballroom dancing classes and well, a bunch of dancing classes all together. Ballet and Ballroom dancing were my favorite. We walked from my hotel to the city and then to this beautifully built building. You would come up the stair and enter through to grand doors in a huge lobby like room. We stopped and gave me a chance to put my shoes on. After that we walked forward to another door and pushed through. A tall Hawaiian lady wearing long green-blue satin dancing dress that had a slit up to her hip, showing off her wonderful tanned legs and heels.

"Hello, Kekoa nice to see you here again."

"Hi, Vanna nice to see again too." he nodded.

"May I ask who this lovely woman here with you?" she asked pushing back long dark hair that had fallen out of the elegant up do that was laced with small pink pearls.

"I'm Rose, it's nice to meet you." I said holding out my hand, smiling. She took it.

"It's nice to meet you too. You both have marvelous night at the _Nizhoni Kachina." _Then she opened the door.

We walked through and I was stunned. The floors where marble and the walls were gold. Dancers glided across the floor as if being floated by smoke. He led me to the back of the room to where some tall man with dark hair and a women with black hair stood not facing us. He came up and whispered to me

"You don't mind if invited my neighbor's do you? We're really good friends and his charge is really nice." I had almost forgot he was Dhampir I looked at him and nodded.

"Yea, it's totally fine."

"Okay, good." he walked closer to the guy and the woman. He tapped the tall man a few inches taller then him on the shoulders. He turned around. At first I looked at him. Something was familiar about this guy. His smell, face, eyes, lips, body, everything.

Oh, right it was Dimitri Belikov.

Damn, and I almost forgot about him.


	4. Author's Note!

_****_

_**OMG! I'm sooooo sorry! My laptop has been down! I just got it back I will update as soon as I can! And thank you to who had Reviewed!**_

_**Thank you!So much!**_


	5. Lady in Red

_**Thank you soooo much for the Reviews! I don't know what else to say. I love y'all! I need some help with song choices so if you could please Message me some that you think would fit, thank you! Enjoy!**_

_**Dimitri POV**_

I stared at her. I knew she was going to be here but _with a date? _It looked as if Kekoa was taken by her beauty. He looked down sweetly at her.

I wanted to puke.

She met his gaze and returned it and then rested her head on his shoulder.

I wanted to die or hit something and something would be Kekoa.

But I would have been proud to have as my date too. She was in a stunning red silk dress that went to her knees, showing off gorgeous tanned legs. The dress had black lace at the hem also and a sweetheart neckline that showed just the right amount of breast. Her hair was a bit on the curly side but it seemed to frame her face. She had cut her hair, not too short though, at the bottom of her shoulder blades and had also got bangs that she had flipped to the side. And the way the lights caught her hair with was like her had gold streaks running through her hair. She did have makeup on. I don't know why, she didn't need it. And last but not least, it couldn't help but to rest my eyes on her right cheek. It was an elegant swirl that started at her temple and ended in the center of her cheek. The scar made her look more of the Goddess she was. Like a huntress. I could tell her wore this scars proudly. I kept wondering how she had gotten it. It was a deep scar, something- some_one_ had have done that for it to be so perfect. And if I ever found out who it was, I will rip every limb off their body slowly and let them suffer in agony. Roza's –_ Rose's _voice shook me out of my own thoughts. I had a hard time remembering that she wasn't mine anymore and that I had _no_ right what so ever to call her that, even in my head.

"Will you dance with me?" she asked. I looked at her as if she had just said she carrying my child. I stood there looking at her.

"Well, are you going to answer me or not, I mean if don't want to dance with me, fine I'll dance with someone else," she snapped.

"Yes, Rose, I would love to dance with you," I told her, taking her hand. This was something I thought I was never going to get to do again. I placed my hands of her perfectly sculpted hips and she put hers on top my shoulders, keeping her elbows locked to keep me away. We danced in silence for a while and then Roza- _Rose_ being Rose had to say something.

"So, what are you doing here? Stalking me much?" she asked quite a bit harshly. Well, I did know that she was going to be here and that's why I had made Tasha come with me but on the other hand, I _did_ live here and all.

"Roz-Rose, I live here, in Hawaii," I told her.

"Okay, then why aren't you with Lissa and Christian at Court?"

"When Tasha told Lissa we had moved here, she had to come. That way she could have Christmas with You and us," I explained.

"Where is Lissa then? She has to be here, oh but wait she isn't because the bond tells me she's at the hotel three miles away. So try again, why are you here?" she asked again. Okay she had me but what was I going to say? _Kekoa told me_ _he had a date named Rose and that she's here for Christmas. When I heard that I had to come and see if it was you. Oh, by the way, I'm still head over heels for you. And while I'm at it, will you take me back?_ No. She'd probably bring out her stake where ever she was hiding it and stake me.

"What do want me to say, Roza?" I said. And then I tensed, I had let the nickname slip but it seemed so natural when I called her Roza.

"The truth," She said "And if you ever call me Roza again I _will _stake you is that understood?" I gulped a little and nodded. She'd had become very scary since I had last seen her.

"Okay, I came here because you were here," I whispered.

_**I updated! Yay! I will start updating as much as I can, no promises!**_

_**~!Rose!~**_


	6. All Around Me

_**Hey, hey, hey! I'm sorry, I have no excuses, I just couldn't come up with anything but I have now!**_

_**~!Rose!~**_

**Rose POV**

I laughed. He started at me like I was crazy.

"Okay, that a total lie, Dimitri. Why are here?" I said swallowing the remaining laughter.

"I'm not lying Rose," he stated.

"Why would you be here? You voluntarily left me at the academy for Tasha. Is makes no logical sense," I told him. When I was saying this his face had this funny look I had never saw on his face. I shrugged it off, I didn't know him anymore, and I thought I had known him at the academy and look where that had landed me.

"And since when does Rose listen's to any logical sense?" He asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe when you destroyed me and when I had to completely rebuild myself," I countered. I saw his Adam apple move as if he was gulping. He said nothing to this. Well, he had nothing to say, what must I say, I make true miracles.

"Look, Ro-" he started.

"Shut the hell up," He froze even though what he had done to me I had never, never, _ever_ said shut up to him, I always had _some_ respect for the man. Guardian wise, he was a very respectable man. I stepped out of his arms. His face was still in shock.

"What? Are you still excepting me to _respect_ you?" I sneered at him.

"Because if you really think about it, I'm your boss, so you better watch your back _Dimka_," I growled the last part. He face turned cold and… jealous? I shook that thought off. Some deep part of me still wanted Dimitri to want me and get jealous over me and another part of me wanted to watch him burn in hell. I walked over to Kekoa and tapped on his shoulder. I put my hand on my stomach and made a face.

"Hey, look my stomach is doing flip flop's tonight, rain check?" He nodded sadly.

"Okay, that's fine I'll walk you to your hotel, okay?"

"No that fine, Kekoa, but I'm sure I can mange," I pulled a small smile. I felt bad for lying but I didn't no I couldn't be around Dimitri anymore tonight.

"Okay…" I started to walk away when he hollered. "Rose!"

I turned around.

"Hey, I get it if you're not interested, ya know? I don't want you pretend you like me or anything like that, I total get it and I won't give the evil eye every time I see too,"

"I do, but not as a boyfriend," I said just wanting to get this over with.

"I can already tell, I like you as a brother," I told him. He nodded a little sad.

"I'm sorry, what can I say, I'm cursed to be alone forever," I joked. He didn't laugh.

"You won't be. Belikov will do anything to get you back, you know he's still head over heels for you. I can't blame him, you made every girl in there look like Medusa and her sisters," he told me.

"Okay, how in _hell_ do you know I was Belikov?" I asked, really shock. Could he read minds now?

"Belikov and I are neighbors, Rose,"

"Oh," I felt stupid.

All the sudden a thought emerged in my head.

"So, Dimitri is your neighbors?"

"Yep,"

"Do you know his address by any chance…?" my sentence trailed off.

He smiled and did ask what I was up too and wrote down the address on my hand with a pen her kept in his back pocket.

"When do you think Dimitri and Tasha will be back?" I asked. He smiled now knowing what I was going to do.

"I overheard Tasha saying she was going to stay at the hotel with Lissa and Christian, whoever that is," he told me.

"We are going to be good friends Kekoa," I smiled. He smiled back and said.

"Well, I'm going to go back to the party, I'll see you tomorrow," he then turned around through the doors again leaving deciding what to do.

I walked the short distance to my hotel. I got up to my room and pulled off my dress and went to the bathroom and put it in the dry cleaning stack. I brushed out my hair and pulled up my hair in a high messy bun and then whipped off all my makeup and pull on a dull waxy line of Chap Stick. I went to my closet pulled on short shorts and a tank top with running shoes, I could run if needed. I was about to walk out when I came up with an idea. I shed my clothes and pulled on a bikini and put my clothes on over it so it would look like I was going to take a night swim and put three toothpicks and two paperclips, just for backup in case I can't find a spare key. I walked out and through the lobby.

"Gone again, so soon ?" The lobby man said to me.

"Yes," was all I replied before walking out.

I looked around. I finally found the street that Dimitri lived on and jogged all the way down to his address. His back yard was the ocean. _I wonder where his property line ends._ I thought. I looked through all the windows making sure they weren't here to pick up something. No movement in the house at all. No windows open or unlocked. They just _have_ to make this difficult, huh? I found no spare key at the front door, back door or the side door. I went to the side door which was the only door that didn't face the beach where someone could be surfing, swimming, ect or the front door which faced about three houses. The side door faced a small forest that circled a small mountain, which would be really cool to hike up. I used my paperclips and got in. I didn't turn on any lights but instead used a small flashlight I brought. I looked around they had a really nice place, big, loads of space, something you see in a magazine. I pushed open a door, the room was filled with books. Okay this was Dimitri study or whatever you wanted to call it. I looked around. At first there was nothing, some bills, some pictures and a hell of a lot of books. Then I saw a leather bound book that was on top the mantel that still had flickering embers in the pit. I grabbed it. It was Dimitri's diary. I flipped through it and saw my name and his old nickname for me in there quite a bit. I sat down with it one page read that had my name it at least a dozen time,

_Oh God, I saw Roza today. Damn, I still call her that. I meant Rose. Well, I saw her today for the first time since the academy. I had heard a lot from her from Lissa and Chris. She kept saying how great Rose was doing. And every time I heard Roza's name I would feel that horrible feels when I had left Rose._ _Rose was stunning, not that surprised me, Roza was always stunning. Especially when she had just woken up, I remembered how Rose looked in our morning training. Just perfect, there is no other way Roza can be described. I would secretly wish I could go in the Locker room with Rose. This is the first time I had ever said that, well written that. I miss my Roza so much. Rose has changed so much, some are good and some I wished Rose would have never have changed. I guess it's partly my fault. Although I am quite shocked Rose wasn't all bitchy toward Tasha. I'm glad, Tasha didn't know then she doesn't deserve Rose's hatred. I feel bad for whoever has Rose hating them because their life is probably a living hell, kind of like mine. I wish I could kiss Roza or just hug her and just feel her in my arms and hugging me back. I miss Rose's big honey brown eyes looking at me with love in them. I had told Rose that it was just teenage love that she thinks she's in love but really she's not. I knew I was lying. I regret so much leaving Roza. I would do just about anything to be able to reverse that. But it's never going to happen. I still can't help but think what might have been if I never left her._

I closed the diary. Okay, maybe he was telling the truth. But that doesn't mean I'm going to take him back, what he did to me is just still unforgivable. I know this, I will never forgive him. He ruined me. He broke me to pieces and no one, _no one_ will ever hurt me like that and expect me to forgive them in anyway shape or form. I love him but I'm not _in_ love with him. But I'm fairly sure if I was to spend time with him again I would fall all over again but this time I'm staying on the ground because I'm tired of falling and then no one catching me even though it's only happened once it will _only_ happen once. I will not let myself be so weak ever again. I was stupid of me. And I'm not that naïve little girl anymore. I am a strong and powerful woman not the little girl Dimitri knew. I stood up and whipped the salty tears that had made a small path down my cheeks. I made sure everything was back in its place. I know this was wrong but I had to know. While I was looking to make sure everything was back in its spot I found a picture of me with Lissa, Mason, Eddie and Christian just having fun with a whiskey bottle in my hand. We all had goofy grins on our faces. I wonder how he got that. He had another of just me; it was me in my work clothes doing some silly pose. My right hip was cocked with my right hand on it and my left hand behind my head. Remember him joking around, which was so rare that I got all smiley and giddy, that in the human world I should have been a Victoria Secret's model to make some money. So I did a joking kind of trying to be sexy and he had snapshot it. I had never ever thought that he would have developed it, let alone have kept it. I took a deep breath and put it back. Did a quick glance again to make sure I had put them back where they were. I turned to leave.

Then the light came on.

_Shit._

_**Teehee Whatcha **__ya think? I re-re-re-read it and I think it's pretty good!_

_~!Rose!~_


	7. I Know She Still Loves Me

_**I know, I'm such a horrible person. I read the reviews. Thank you so much guys! The people that don't review and like the story don't realize how much a Fanfiction counts on reviews. So when the authors say 'please review' they are asking for support because who would really want to write a story of any kind that's not liked and that's why a lot of Fanfictions don't have more than a few chapters so please keep that in mind when you read Fanfictions. I'm not good at math but here's a pretty simple formula**_

_**REVIEWS= FASTER UPDATES!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**~!Rose!~**_

_**Dimitri's POV**_

I set my surf board by the backdoor and walked in the house quietly. I walked through the empty house. Tasha was staying with Lissa and Christian so I had the whole house to myself. When I saw Rose tonight, I was so shocked. I saw her walk in with Kekoa laughing and having a good time. I felt that longing and jealousy. I missed her so very much. I missed her stubborn nature and the way she liked to argue. I smiled at that. I loved the way she would glare at me in practice; she looked like a little girl trying to get revenge. I admired her strength and courage. Something that I would never I have. And I really loved how she stood up for others who needed and for justice and what she believes in. She was always the brave one and she never seemed to get embarrassed, she always rolled through it or completely blocked it out but either way she never showed a weakness. It always seemed she was invisible to me. I had seen was when Mia had spread those God awful rumors but even then she was more worried about Lissa than herself; she was the most selfless person that could be alive. And the other time was in Spokane. Seeing Rose like that was horrid. I barely recognized her. She had been in tore up clothes and cuts all over her, her hair had been tangled and dirty but the most horrible thing was that she was trying to protect her dead friends' body who had died moments before I had got there. When I walked up to her she had been so scared she raised the sword to me. I was sure she could have killed me. I mean she just killed a three hundred year old Strigoi. There had been no tears. Her eyes were completely blank and that scared me even more than if she'd been sobbing. It had taken me quite a bit of coaxing before I could even get within five feet of her. I remember I just wanted to wrap her in my arms and just take her away forever and never let anything hurt her again. The urge had be so strong that I had hugged her like a teacher and student should have never but in that case Alberta didn't see anything wrong with it. I remembered how I truly said to myself if she died that I would be all means kill myself. I realized at that moment that I just couldn't push my feelings for Rose back anymore. When they had told me that Rose has gone to Spokane, I wanted to do nothing more than to get her back and to just kiss her. I am just so glad that I had managed to get her back. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't get her back. If she would have been awakened I would have honestly been trying hunt her down. I had made that promise to her and I was going to keep it, even if it killed me. She would, I have no doubt in my mind that she would have. Maybe not now, I really think she don't care if I was to kill myself in front of her. By all means it is my fault and mine only. Rose was unbelievably loyal. It's like she had been planned to be born as the world's most perfect person. I had once believed that no one was perfect, then I had met Rose and that had changed my whole view on life all together. Have mentioned just how capital Rose was? God only knows what Rose is capital of at her very best, she could probably make the world spin the opposite direction. I made my way down the hall and pasted my study. A figure stood in front of my deck looking at a picture of Rose that I always kept with me. I had joked around in practice one day that she should been a Victoria Secret's Angel. She had said that she was pretty enough but had done a silly pose in a kidding around kind of trying to be sexy. Even then she still managed to be dead sexy. She was always sexier just doing everyday things. Like running her laps. I would run with her and from the very start, even though she hadn't been very fast she had a graceful and elegant way of running that could have probably killed a Strigoi itself. Or like when she was just talking to friends. The way she would stand with her hips slightly cocked and her hair always perfect no matter the way she chose to wear that day. Or when she doing some kind of homework, how she would be leaned forward and how when her hair was down how it would fall around her slender neck and frame her face and how her face showed concentration. And of course when she was fighting. Now that its own rank. She was like a Goddess. No, she _is_ a Goddess. No matter how you see it, she is a Goddess in every way. And she always had this fire in her eyes. She still has that fire in her eyes, and it glowed as brightly as before but in different ways. She had changed to where now she just determined to just live a life day by day and not be completely miserable, not strive for more like she had before. I studied the figured for a moment very soon recognized who it was.

Rose.

I flicked on the light. She froze. She hadn't heard me. She normally did so she must have been lost in thought. She turned around slowly and finally faced me.

"Damn it to hell," she muttered. I almost laughed. She always had quite a choice of words when I came to cussing.

"So, did you take upon yourself to go through me stuff?" I asked leaning against the wooden door frame. I was a little angry. Actually I was really angry; she had no right to go through my stuff. Her lips pursed a little bit telling me she was thinking about her wording. But at the same time she looked like she was studying me as I was her. She wore a pretty tight tank that had the _Hollister _logo on it and a pair of short shorts and track puma shoes, her hair was pulled up in a high pony tail and her new bangs were pushed to the side. She also wore a bright red bikini under the light, see through tank top. I wouldn't have minded seeing her wet in that small bikini. She devastatingly gorgeous and the scar on her cheek only helped the whole Goddess look. She had a lot of scars I noticed. I hadn't seen them before but now they really showed. Her whole neck was probably completely covered with _molnjia _marks by now.

"Well, you weren't telling the truth so, yes I did take it upon myself to find out the truth," she said putting her hands on already cocked hips.

"So, did out find any reason for me to be lying?" I asked calmly.

"Nope, I haven't been here that long," she told me. I nodded; she took a few steps in front of me. I breathed in her scent, wild flowers and something spicy that I couldn't put my finger on. Those things shouldn't have mixed well but somehow they did. She pushed me. I stepped aside for her. I thought about how she said she told me she hadn't been here all that long, she had answered just a tad bit too fast and a looked away from me just a second to quick. I quickly caught up with her and grabbed her upper arm; I was shocked how hard with muscle it was. She was very toned, you could tell that by looking at her but you could _really_ tell when you felt her arm or leg. She suddenly stopped. She didn't turn toward me in anyway. She went completely rigid like her was about ti turn around and punch me.

"Rose, you're a terrible liar, you know?"

"Dimitri, you're a bastard that should go to hell, you know?" she said use had I my same tone. I cringed at it, it was slow, cruel, and hateful like no tone used ever that I know of.

"I get it, you hate me but that doesn't mean you can go through my stuff just because you think I'm lying. You don't see me going through your stuff," I told her.

"Because you don't know where I'm staying," she said blandly.

I turned her around and gave her an annoying look. I was distracted looking her in the eyes she had pulled free and quickly turned around and started to walk down the hall again. I grabbed her again. She spun around to meet me. I could have kissed her we were so close but she didn't seem to notice that.

"What do you want?"

"The same thing you do. The truth, Rose," I told her with a grim look on my face.

"Well, you've got it from me, unfortunately I can't seem to get that from you," she countered. I had a feeling she wasn't giving me the whole truth, also.

"You want to know the whole truth, everything?" I asked. She nodded.

"I'm still in love with you," I told her simply. She waited for more but there was none, that was all there was to tell.

"You're a lying bastard that needs to go to hell where he belongs and stay there," she sneered at me. She tried to pull away but I had a firm grip on her. She might be very strong but I was probably more than twice her size and strength. When we fight she has to use speed against me and use my own force against me and as I recalled from or practices, she was good at it. I knew that if she feeling wanted to go she would get out of my grip somehow.

"Let. Me. Go," she growled through clenched teeth. I held on tighter and said.

"You're not going anywhere, Rose." I backed her up closer to a wall. The weird thing was she let me. Soon her back was completely against the wall and I was pressed to her body like the ways I had longed for but only instead the look of hate and disgust in her eyes there should have been love and lust and all the wonderful things she used to look at me with in her eyes. We stood there for a few minutes. My grip on her on her arm loosened just a bit but not by much. All of the sudden she was moving in a blur. Her other hand had came and grabbed my damp hair and smacked my head against the wall above her shoulder with amazing force that I would have never thought she had. The hit spotted my vision for a minute or two. She was already gone; I could hear her running toward the side door. I ran fast as I could through the back door and watched her run into the forest. I followed without a second thought. She was a lot faster than I remembered. Her legs were almost a blur under her. I'm fairly sure she could have out ran a Strigoi if it came down to it. I had to really push myself to start to catch up with her. She zigged and zagged all over the place confusing my eyes. If I wasn't the one trying to catch up with her I would have been very proud, since I taught her that trick. I started to catch up with her but then she took the sharpest right turn her ankle would let her throwing me off. If I had been Strigoi I would have given up by now. But I pushed myself further and faster that I could almost touch her. She didn't even seem tried yet . I knew I wasn't get any closer so I just jumped and tackled her. We rolled on each other. I kept the strongest grip on her I couldn't without hurting her too much. We had rolled for a while because of how fast we had been running. I was breathing heavily and she was breathing like she had just done a light jog and that probably was just a light jog for her. I stared at her and she looked back up and me. Right there on the forest floor, I couldn't help it. I was done denying myself, I just give myself this it just this once and I'll die happy.

I kissed her.

_****_

_**What gonna happen?**_

_**The more reviews I get the better and longer the next chapter will be! Once again, I'm not good at Math this is a pretty simple formula,**_

_**REVIEW=FASTER UPDATES!**_

~!Rose!~


	8. Last Authors note from me!

_**Hey! I just wanted to let y'all all know that I'm no longer writing this story! Lexpandaalover -Mrs. Belikov will be continuing this story. And believe me she a much better writer than myself so don't be going "aaawwww…" Thank y'all who have been loyal enough readers to read this. I wrote myself to a dead end with this story. I'm sorry guys I couldn't finish this story but I hope you keep writing this story for Lexpandaalover- Mrs. Belikov sake. Thank you all for taking the time of day to read this story under my account. Thank y'all all! But if you've liked my writing I'm writing another story called **_**Southern Belle**_**, please check it out! Thank you!**_

_**Yours always,**_

**~!Rose!~**


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